Tag: Movie Reviews

  • Rick’s Reel-Time Reactions

    Rick’s Reel-Time Reactions

    I’ve been thinking about doing something a little different with movie posts.

    Usually, if I’m writing about a movie, I watch it first, think about it, and then come back later and try to make sense of what I saw.

    Rick’s Reel-Time Reactions is not that.

    This is the movie as I’m watching it.

    That’s really the point.

    Once you know how a movie ends, it’s easy to rewrite your own experience of watching it. Something that looked meaningless suddenly seems like obvious foreshadowing. A character you distrusted from the beginning turns out to be harmless, and afterward you forget how convinced you were. A ridiculous little prop becomes important twenty minutes later.

    The idea is simple: I pick something I haven’t seen, hit play, and preserve the reactions as they happen. The good guesses stay. The bad guesses stay. The moments where I completely misunderstand what a movie is doing stay too.

    I want to keep the before part.

    So these posts will be built around timestamps, reactions, and occasional images from the movie when the visual itself is part of the experience. The pictures may get cropped or cleaned up afterward, but the reactions won’t be rewritten into some polished version of what I supposedly meant.

    If I’m wrong, I’m wrong.

    If I miss something obvious, you get to watch me miss it.

    If I suddenly stop the movie because I need photographic evidence of whatever just happened, you’ll get that too.

    This isn’t meant to replace a review. A review is what I think about a movie after I’ve had time to process it.

    Rick’s Reel-Time Reactions is what happens before I get that luxury.

    Basically, you get to sit beside me for a first watch without actually having to sit beside me.

    I already have a few candidates waiting.

    This could get interesting.

  • Resident Evil (2026)– A Review

    Resident Evil (2026)– A Review

    ★★★★☆ out of ★★★★★

    I’m not a big horror-movie fan. I mean, I sort of am, but when you lack buddies to talk about it with afterward, it loses some of its charm. Perhaps dictating my review like this—speaking my truth, if you will—might serve the same purpose. We’ll see.

    I did not play the Resident Evil games, so I have no frame of reference there. I have, however, seen the Milla Jovovich versions, and this is a mighty big swing away from that formula.

    First, though, a complaint: the opening credits are severely redundant with the producers’ names. This is Bob and Joe*. This is a Bob and Joe* production. Bob and Joe* made this film. I did not appreciate that. It felt like Hollywood glad-handing, and all I could think was, What the hell? And the actual title sequence didn’t arrive until roughly fifteen minutes into the movie!

    The movie itself is almost a one-man show. Our hero, such as he is, is Bryan, a hapless medical courier who describes his work as something like a fancy version of DoorDash. His employer appears to be called Right Foot—at least that is what I could make out on the back of his jacket, partially obscured by the carrying straps. Good branding, I guess: put your right foot forward.

    We become involved in Bryan’s life while he is arguing with his girlfriend. He seems like a perfectly reasonable yet stupidly selfish kid. For a while, I thought the movie might pull the old trick of making us care about a character and then immediately killing him. Bryan comes very close to dying at the beginning—but he doesn’t, and the movie sticks with him.

    After delivering a standard red organ carrier, Bryan is offered one last, top-flight assignment: take a mysterious green carrier to Raccoon City. He protests that he needs to get home, but they offer him double. Nothing bad has ever come from accepting a double-pay offer at the last minute, has it?

    The job requires chains or studded tires because it is snowing heavily. Bryan assures them he is prepared. Of course, he isn’t. Off he goes into the snow toward Raccoon City—and, quite frankly, video-game adventures ensue.

    The video-game perspective is persistent and appreciated. Bryan picks up guns as he finds them. He has to figure out how to load and use them. He makes discoveries just as I would want to make them if I were playing the game myself. The story progresses in a clear, logical sequence, but Bryan remains hilariously unprepared for all of it. At one point, he reassures himself, “I didn’t shoot a kid in the face. I like kids.” That self-mocking humor works because it also connects to the personal problems waiting for him back home.

    Several very distinct forms of zombie are on display. There’s a guy who vomits acid, a zombie tumbleweed that begins with two bodies fusing together and keeps collecting more as the movie progresses—there may be a dozen bodies in it by the end—and a huge, bloated man whose stomach splits open and spills out what look like rats. Players will probably recognize some of the evolutionary bloodlines even when the creatures aren’t taken directly from the games. I just thought they were cool and gross at the same time.

    The movie has genuine comedy, but it also has good jump scares—the ones that feel earned, not merely inserted to make you jump. It is visually stunning, and the cinematography is excellent. I did not see it in IMAX, but I can absolutely understand how IMAX would benefit it.

    Bryan grows throughout the movie. When he senses what is coming, even as he keeps hoping for something better, he makes a final confession into his phone. He has no connection; he is simply making a recording meant for Michelle, without knowing whether she will ever hear it.

    Throughout the movie, Bryan faces setback after setback, but he continues on. He does things he never expected he would be able to do. He keeps going. He learns. He grows. He suffers. He still continues. And then, when all seems lost, he keeps going on.

    Bryan. Never. Gives. Up. Until he does.

    This movie does not end with a Hollywood ending. It doesn’t even end with a video-game ending. But it does end.

    I don’t want to spoil it. This movie is worth seeing. It is a lot of fun, and I think you might enjoy it as much as I did.

    It surprises me to say this, but I’m giving Resident Evil four stars. Not because it isn’t a well-made movie—it is—but because, as I said at the beginning, I don’t generally gravitate toward horror movies.

    Hopefully expressing all of this now, in the way I am, will prevent the night terrors.

    Cast and Credits

    • Austin Abrams as Bryan
    • Directed by Zach Cregger
    • Written by Zach Cregger and Shay Hatten
    • Cinematography by Dariusz Wolski
    • Based on Capcom’s Resident Evil video-game series

    * Not the actual producers’ names. You’ll see it, and you’ll know it.

  • Runner — A Movie Review

    Runner — A Movie Review

    Runner is one of those movies where you immediately wonder if such a position actually exists in the real world. I mean, you’d think maybe so, but it’s like a super-temp courier job where you speak directly with a dispatcher only through the phone, and then you go and deliver a package, talk to a client, help them unclog a drain—whatever it is.

    It seems super unlikely, but what the heck? It’s a fun movie, so you go with it. They carry it off well enough that I will let that question go.

    Runner stars Alan Ritchson and Owen Wilson. It’s sort of a buddy comedy, but not really. They learn from one another. They interact with one another. There are some tears to be shed. It doesn’t feel entirely manipulative, but that brings me to another aspect of this movie.

    If this movie had been made in, say, 1980, it would be fun. It would be explosive, and there would not be any backstory to speak of.

    Look at the Dirty Harry movies. We do not care about Dirty Harry’s kids or wife or anything else like that. He simply says punks are bad. I’m going to make all punks pay for their being punks. You know his motivations. You don’t care whether his wife left him.

    Runner cares a lot about Hank’s backstory.

    Alan Ritchson plays Hank Malone, a former alcoholic and former Navy SEAL. He’s an American operating in Australia, and the reason he’s in Australia is because his ex-wife is Australian.

    Okay, fine. Lots of backstory. You get to know his motivations. You get to know all this squishy emotional whatever that makes him tick.

    Oh, and let’s not forget: he has basically sworn off violence, of course.

    That all being said, it’s a very fun movie.

    The action sequences are well-made and, on some occasions, entirely funny, if not exactly obeying the laws of physics. There is a scene in which another car takes off the front of Hank’s car. It peels it off like a hinge. I am fairly certain that the sort of force required to do that would cause such massive injuries that no one would survive, but in this case it’s just kind of funny.

    A lot of wit is employed, and Ritchson carries off the role very well.

    Owen Wilson plays Ben Bishop. He’s not quite the emotional heart of the movie, but he is the chatterbox who at first annoys and then charms Hank.

    Ben is accompanying a donor liver that needs to be delivered from an airport to Gold Coast Children’s Hospital. Hank gets his marching orders from his handler, Iggy, whom we never really see except for one slightly tragic moment. Along the way, Hank has some interesting interactions with a very wealthy ex-couple and a fancy parakeet.

    He also meets with his ex-wife, her current husband and their new baby. There is an element of tragedy in the backstory regarding that relationship. It’s all explained fairly well.

    I just find it somewhat unnecessary.

    This is an action flick and a minor buddy comedy. I don’t care about the backstory, just like I didn’t care when Riggs’s backstory started causing him PTSD in Lethal Weapon. It was good without it, but whatever. People demanded more depth to characters, and I guess this is the answer to it.

    There is one factual issue that I have problems with: the organ in question is a liver.

    Although I am not a medical doctor, I know that livers are pretty famous because they regenerate, and you only need a lobe or section of a liver for transplantation. So if this liver really is from a blood type this rare, my immediate thought was: why not split it and give part to each recipient?

    Now, whether that would actually work with this particular liver and these particular patients is another question entirely. And, of course, one side of this little disagreement is a criminal organization and the other is the legitimate recipient. They’re not exactly going to sit down together and successfully negotiate a liver-sharing agreement.

    So we’re going to have to let that go.

    The legitimate recipient is a little girl, Ellie Baker, played by Scarlett Crabtree, and she is adorable. I think Crabtree did what she could with the part. They wrote her a little too childish for me, honestly, but she was used as a spice, not a main dish, so it went down fine.

    Her mother, Kate, played by Leila George, is absolutely, absolutely great.

    She plays the part of a desperate mother perfectly, including the well-expressed version of a mother doing anything to protect what she needs to protect without suddenly becoming Superwoman. She uses her wits. She tries to use her strength. It’s not going to work every time, but she thinks through the problem and accomplishes her goal.

    The main antagonist is Damián Zaldívar, played by Rodrigo Santoro, and he is a perfectly menacing bad guy. They throw in backstory for him that makes him really pathetic. You know, he’s a mama’s boy. His mama is stronger than he is, and Hank manages to turn that around toward the end to good effect.

    So, like I said, they add a lot of backstory, but they make use of it. It’s not just backstory for backstory’s sake.

    And despite my complaints about how much emotional baggage this action movie has to haul along with it, it isn’t overwritten. I enjoyed Runner quite a lot.

    My final thought is that this movie is not going to pull its punches. Not everyone is going to survive.

    There’s no sequel being built in simply by making sure all the main stars are still alive at the end, and I find that quite refreshing. Sad for the actors, of course, but it gives me hope that this movie is just going to be allowed to stand on its own, without somebody immediately clamoring for a sequel or retaining the IP so that 15 years from now we can all look forward to Runner 17.

    ★★★★ out of ★★★★★

  • Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma — A Movie Review

    Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma — A Movie Review

    I ended up going to Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma during its second week. (Or, if I were to run the title unnecessarily through a thesaurus, as I do, Post-Adolescent Copulation and Demise at Bivouac Pestilential Effluvium.) The only showing available was after dark, which is probably appropriate for this type of movie. That, of course, led to some shenanigans getting home, but that’s not part of this review.

    The movie starts with a writer-director, played by Hannah Einbinder, talking with her agent about an upcoming meeting with Billy, played by Gillian Anderson. Billy was the star of the very first Camp Miasma movie, but she never committed to any of the sequels. She did a few small acting roles in other movies afterward, but then basically retired to Camp Tivoli, the original camp where Camp Miasma was filmed. She has become something of a recluse, but she’s not the “get off my lawn” type of recluse. She welcomes people who come to visit her; she just doesn’t want anyone trying to drag her away from the life she has chosen.

    Meanwhile, the Camp Miasma movies continued without her. The first one was great. The second one was great. Then they started going downhill. Different writers came in, different people became involved in the production, there were delays, production problems and studio notes, and somehow they eventually ended up with something like 15 movies. They went everywhere: space, a ship, underground, all sorts of increasingly crazy variations. It’s basically an analog of the Friday the 13th franchise, particularly the increasingly ridiculous Jason sequels, where eventually the franchise itself became more important than whatever sensible reason there might be to make another movie.

    The two leads also bring very different kinds of acting to the movie. Gillian Anderson is old school, and she is terrific. She’s the kind of actor who can disappear into a role until the character becomes more important than the actress playing her. Billy is a Southern belle, a faded glory, and I completely buy her as that person. Hannah Einbinder is a different type of performer. She brings much more of her own established persona into the character. Rather than disappearing into the writer-director, she feels like exactly the sort of person you would cast because her particular personality fits this particular role. And it does. She is absolutely the right person for this character.

    At one point, though, another movie temporarily jumped into my head: Scream. Scream did a wonderful job of defining the rules of the traditional slasher movie while simultaneously making fun of them. You can’t be the single woman alone at home. You can’t have sex. You can’t be the quirky couple. These people are going to die. There is a scene in Camp Miasma showing Billy as a young woman, played by Amanda Fix, and she is about to have sex for the first time. Immediately, Scream started shouting inside my head: Oh, you’re going to die.

    Except, of course, I already knew she wasn’t going to die. I had already met Billy decades later, played by Gillian Anderson. So Scream jumped back out of my head, and I kept watching. That may have affected how strongly some of what Camp Miasma was doing worked for me. Horror movies have been examining, violating and making fun of their own rules for a long time now. Simply turning one of those rules upside down doesn’t automatically surprise me anymore.

    Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is very much another attempt to take horror from a different perspective and turn the genre on its head by introducing a new reality. At first, I didn’t really understand what it was doing. As the movie went along, though, it taught me how to watch it. Once I understood the rules it was operating under, I got it. I just didn’t particularly appreciate it.

    I won’t give away the conceit of the movie because not everything deserves to be spoiled, even a week after release. I will say that the movie has a very particular twist on what reality is, and I think they carry it off. That’s important. My problem isn’t that the idea doesn’t work or that the movie cheats in order to make it work. Once you understand what it’s doing, it follows through. I just didn’t care for the idea very much. I didn’t walk out of the theater thinking, “Well, that was an interesting conceit.” Instead, my reaction was basically, “Okay. They carried it off. Next.”

    But I did enjoy the movie. It didn’t give me any form of nightmare, and I don’t have any particular need to discuss it endlessly afterward. It was entertaining, Gillian Anderson was terrific, the idea worked on its own terms, and I had a good time watching it. Sometimes that’s enough.

    ★★★½☆ — 3½ out of 5 stars

    • Jane Schoenbrun — Writer/Director
    • Gillian Anderson — Billy
    • Amanda Fix — Young Billy
    • Hannah Einbinder — Kris, the writer-director