I don’t need to be flippant about this, and I don’t even have the worst form of depression a person can have. What I have been diagnosed with is called situational depression. It’s triggered simply by a lack of money, a lack of options, and being pulled in a direction I don’t want to go. But how it expresses itself on a daily basis is what I’m talking about right now.
I have four posts sitting in drafts right now. One is almost completely finished. It just needs a few pictures—that’s all. Yet it still sits there in drafts.
I don’t need to explain everything I’m going through right now. That part isn’t important. Just know that I am going through it, and that I am trying my best. Sometimes the best way to get over something is to go through it, and that’s the way it has to work for me.
I have tried medication. The problem was that one of them caused some short-term memory issues. That flies in the face of my OCD—or more accurately, OCP, but that’s a whole different story. Losing that ability to recall details and maintain my own systems actually caused me more anxiety. So they tried an anti-anxiety medication, and it caused similar problems. In other words, the anti-anxiety medication was giving me more anxiety than I had in the first place.
So no, I do not take medication for my situation. It’s paradoxical, but that’s just part of who I am, I guess.
I know I’m trying to rebuild this site. I’m trying to build enough of a following that people come back, that people participate, that a small community grows here. Not posting for six weeks is not helping that goal. But I am going to try. I am going to make this work.
I don’t ask much. Just believe me when I say that I will be back. I will post. I will be funny again.
Thank you.
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